if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
