3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
