I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize