She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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