As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
