the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I forget how to act sober
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
