she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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