no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
