As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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