Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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