sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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