Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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