Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
