i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
