Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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