You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
