then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
false alarm. still invincible.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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