He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
