drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
