I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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