Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize