I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
