My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
