You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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