Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
