If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
