Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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