did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize