If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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