you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
