Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
How external is "for external use only"?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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