I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
