But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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