We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
