return my video game
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
