yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize
