the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
