doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
