Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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