Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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