So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize