just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
