he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize