A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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