I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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