just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So many bounce houses so little time
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
