and you said cock pushups were impossible
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
