Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
