Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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