I want to make a zoo with you.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
