I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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