I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm jealous of your bromance
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
