Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
