I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
