You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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