I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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