Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
50% drunk capacity currently
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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