just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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