Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You did what with his pubic hair?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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