He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
