Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
