Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm drunk

(615): View more from Tennessee

Is that why you're texting me

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Yes

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.

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(513): View more from Ohio

How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.

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(903): View more from Texas

He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.

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(302): View more from Delaware

My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall

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(541): View more from Oregon

Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.

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(425): View more from Washington

He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.

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