I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
