Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
