i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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