Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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