Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
