I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
